An Online Journal of Our Adoption Journey

The Red Thread

I've been reading The Lost Daughters of China (the reviewers are right, it is a very good book), and one bit caught me strongly.  It's the story of the Red Thread.  The idea is that lovers, and those destined to be together, are all tied together by a mystical red string.  From ankle to ankle, through time and space, this thread holds them tight. 

It pulls slightly over time, helping to bring these people to one another: lovers, families, friends.  The author talks of her red thread to the little baby girl in China, pulling them slowly together.  Reading that, I could sense the same thing.  A pull towards our baby, one who is probably being conceived right now.

We are gathering the information required in the application.  We took photos of the exterior of the duplex where we are currently living.  Then we took pictures of each other, and set the timer so we could be in some together.  All are required as part of the application package.

I called our health insurance company to find out about coverage of an adopted child.  Not a problem, they said, just need to fill out the proper paperwork and she'll be covered the moment we bring her to our home.  We also looked into our life insurance, how much, and talked about increasing it. 

I copied off the last three years of tax returns.  Then came the scary part, the acceptable child health check-off sheet.  A whole page of check boxes listing possible health problems that we need to go through and decide which we would accept and which we wouldn't.  Would we adopt a child who's missing a limb?  Blind?  Deaf?  Clef lip?  Developmental problems?  It went on and on.  A very, very difficult list. 

We were as realistic as we could be.  We choose those things that are commonly listed for orphaned children (developmental issues, both emotional and physical) as being acceptable, and did not choose those areas which would generally be considered special needs. 

It reminded me of the moral dilemma faced by couples having a child.  Tests are often done during the pregnancy to determine if the fetus as any problems, such as Downs Syndrome, or some other genetic disorder.  But then comes the question.  If the fetus turns out to have one of these handicaps, the parents must then make the heart-wrenching decision of what to do.  Abort the child or not.  Is the red thread tied to this little one's ankle?